Top Ten Things You Should Never Do

10) Your mom.
9) Piss in the wind.
8) Spit straight up.
7) "No, officer, we haven't been drinking..."
6) Swallow.
5) Drop the soap.
4) Eat it if it smells.
3) Get drunk at a gay bar.
2) Play leapfrog with a unicorn.
1) Use Elmers' glue for a lubricant.